I started wearing makeup in 6th grade. This was because I started getting acne in 5th grade. By the time I reached high school I was waking up over an hour before I had to leave for school, just to make sure I had enough time to put on my makeup. At first it was simple; a little foundation, blush, and mascara. After a while it became more complicated. Soon I found myself putting on a face primer, than applying copious amounts of foundation, powder, blush, bronzer, mascara, eyeshadow, and finishing it off with the lipstick of the day. By the time I reached senior year of high school I had become a pro, and my makeup bag had grown immensely. I didn't want to be seen without makeup, and I hated the sight of myself whenever I caught my reflection in the mirror without it on. I couldn't handle the thought of ever being without it, it was as if I was addicted. Every time I went to the mall I had to stop at Sephora, and every time I went to Target I found myself being drawn to the makeup section. I was always finding new products, and trying on new things. I hated myself without it, but what took me so long to realize was that I also hated myself with it. I struggled with anxiety and low self-esteem all throughout high school, and wearing makeup allowed me to put on a mask to cover up in a way. I was able to hide the bags under my eyes from never sleeping, and cover up the acne I tried to so desperately to get rid of. I compared myself to everyone around me, and was never fully satisfied with how I looked, even if I was wearing makeup. I envied the girls who could walk out of their house with nothing on and still be confident. I never imagined a day when I would be able to do that.
When I was a senior I began to realize that much of my anxiety had to do with the friends I had, and the environment I was in. I was surrounded by girls who were always judging themselves, and me. I hated that I wasn't able to talk to them, and that their lives revolved around looking good. Once I realized this, I started to slowly make new friends, and when I began to get noticed more for my personality than for my looks I began appreciating myself more. I didn't concentrate on my looks as much, and by the time the summer before college rolled around I had more confidence then ever.
When I got to college my self-esteem definitely took a hit because I knew no one, and I didn't know if people would like me for my personality. My morning ritual had become a priority once again. I found myself applying makeup just to go to the gym, and reapplying it throughout the day. I couldn't leave my dorm without making sure I had an extra lipstick in my back pocket, or a fresh coat of mascara. I admit, first semester of freshman year definitely hurt my confidence, but by the end of freshman year I felt that I had finally found my place, and my friends.
By sophomore year I had more confidence, less acne, and more friends than ever, but makeup was still one of my main priorities. I couldn't sleep over my boyfriends house without having some blush, powder and mascara to quickly reapply in the morning, and I wouldn't want to be seen anywhere on campus without it. I began to realize that even though I had everything I wanted I still had low self-esteem, and that was something that not even makeup could cure. That's when I began to try and ween myself off of my makeup obsession. It was the small things at first, like redirecting my attention when I walked into Target to other areas besides the makeup section; skipping foundation and just using bronzer or powder, and not wearing makeup one or two days a week. When I saw that I felt the same without makeup as I did with it, I became so much more comfortable with myself.
Now, I rarely where makeup during the week, and when I do it's a personal choice, not a result of low self-esteem. I admit that I apply some bronzer and mascara before I go to class, but it's not everyday. I think that makeup is viewed differently by everyone, and no one should be judged for how much or how little they are wearing; however, no one should feel obligated to wear it because they fear they don't look good without it. Everyone is naturally beautiful, and makeup should be used to enhance that beauty, not cover it up.
When I was a senior I began to realize that much of my anxiety had to do with the friends I had, and the environment I was in. I was surrounded by girls who were always judging themselves, and me. I hated that I wasn't able to talk to them, and that their lives revolved around looking good. Once I realized this, I started to slowly make new friends, and when I began to get noticed more for my personality than for my looks I began appreciating myself more. I didn't concentrate on my looks as much, and by the time the summer before college rolled around I had more confidence then ever.
When I got to college my self-esteem definitely took a hit because I knew no one, and I didn't know if people would like me for my personality. My morning ritual had become a priority once again. I found myself applying makeup just to go to the gym, and reapplying it throughout the day. I couldn't leave my dorm without making sure I had an extra lipstick in my back pocket, or a fresh coat of mascara. I admit, first semester of freshman year definitely hurt my confidence, but by the end of freshman year I felt that I had finally found my place, and my friends.
By sophomore year I had more confidence, less acne, and more friends than ever, but makeup was still one of my main priorities. I couldn't sleep over my boyfriends house without having some blush, powder and mascara to quickly reapply in the morning, and I wouldn't want to be seen anywhere on campus without it. I began to realize that even though I had everything I wanted I still had low self-esteem, and that was something that not even makeup could cure. That's when I began to try and ween myself off of my makeup obsession. It was the small things at first, like redirecting my attention when I walked into Target to other areas besides the makeup section; skipping foundation and just using bronzer or powder, and not wearing makeup one or two days a week. When I saw that I felt the same without makeup as I did with it, I became so much more comfortable with myself.
Now, I rarely where makeup during the week, and when I do it's a personal choice, not a result of low self-esteem. I admit that I apply some bronzer and mascara before I go to class, but it's not everyday. I think that makeup is viewed differently by everyone, and no one should be judged for how much or how little they are wearing; however, no one should feel obligated to wear it because they fear they don't look good without it. Everyone is naturally beautiful, and makeup should be used to enhance that beauty, not cover it up.
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